it only takes a few hours, or sometimes, a few days, if we are really connecting. no matter how great things are going, at some point, the moment does come:

“oh, I’m not poly.”

maybe they finally read my profile, or we start talking about relationships and I’ve mentioned that I am invested in loving many people, in many ways.

no matter how it comes up, in that moment, I can feel that the relationship changes immediately – where things felt open and light before, they now feel closed and defensive. it becomes a trial, as if I have done something criminal. laughter disappears and is replaced by a tangible expectation that I have some explaining (apologising?) to do, if the relationship’s going to move forward from this point ..

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